I can't wait to be heading out to the beach tomorrow. I'm packing my bags then heading out the door around 10am. I'm supposed to check in to the condo I'm staying at around 4 so that'll give me plenty of time to stop to eat as well as leave some time in case of an emergency (just in case people, I'm not planning to do anything stupid lol). I am beyond ready to be laying on the beach soaking up the sun with a very LARGE margarita in my hand.
Adam texted me on Wednesday night asking me to spend the night. I was pretty hesitant at first but I finally agreed. When I arrived at the little trailer he is renting, Madelyn and Kalie came running up to me giving me big hugs... tears came to my eyes. I love those girls so much, and just because they aren't blood doesn't mean I don't love them like they are. But what really broke my heart was when Madelyn said, "What are you doing here? Daddy said you broke up." Wow... what a blow to my heart... I was unsure of what to say so I turned to Adam and just looked at him. He responded to Madelyn by saying, "Sweetie we're just going through a rough time, but we're still together." It always amazes me at how in tune children are with what's going on around them.
Around 10, we got the girls into bed and then Adam and I had the house to ourselves. Despite how unsure I am about us, despite how broken he has made me, despite how much hurt he's caused me, it still felt absolutely amazing to be back in his arms. When we were heading to sleep, he got up and lighted some candles and then made what was probably the most passionate love I've ever had. In the morning, I woke up to him gently rubbing the side of my face... it's amazing after all this time, the man still gives me the biggest butterflies in my stomach. We layed in bed till around 10 that morning then frantically got up when we realized that Madelyn had clogged the toilet and flooded the bathroom. I knew I had to get home to get to work so I figured that was the perfect time to leave... I let Adam clean up the bathroom himself ;) He told me he loved me and to have fun but to be safe at the beach, and then I left. Why is leaving him so difficult?
Today is going to be pretty hectic. I've got to go to Wal-Mart, the bank, the vet, CVS, Com Cast, and the grocery store.
So this is my life right now. Everyday is a challenge for me, but I'm trying to hang in there and hold it together the best I can.
No comments:
Post a Comment